March 6th 2013
I have NO IDEA WHY, but my former self is talking to me today!
He is telling me that I need to go eat everything I can.
He is telling me that I am going to gain every pound back.
He is telling me that I am a slacker.
I’ll be perfectly honest as I have been my entire journey. This is sort of freaking me out a little bit today!
I’ve not had this happen to me in a very long time. I have said it before and I’ll keep saying it, ‘my will is stronger than my addiction’. I do see it as an addiction, no different than any other addiction really, my addiction to food. It’s gripping and can get in your head, if you let it. For those who have never been obese or dealt with a food addiction, it may be hard to understand that it is a very real thing, living and breathing really! I have not binged in a long time. I am tracking my food on a somewhat regular basis and I am working out 5 days a week doing Les Mills COMBAT. I am doing the things I need to be doing to keep myself on track. My wife has been there doing the same things which is amazing to have that support.
I am blogging about this today as a way to get it out of my head. I am blogging to show that I am human, I am not perfect. I am blogging to maybe help somebody else understand that it is a DAILY battle. Most days are very good days for me personally as I don’t deal with this often. Today is different and I can’t explain why. The ‘voice’ of the fat guy is stronger, more diligent with his message.
I will WIN this battle, I will face this giant head on and I will prove to ME that I am stronger than this voice. I will prove that I have the COURAGE to do what it takes for my health. I will be the example I need to be for my family!
Fat Guy…..go away